QUIZ: Which Annoying Corporate Buzzword Are You?
STORY: Diane Lam
03 March 2020
1. Who are you in your friend group?
a. The peacemaker
b. The loud one
c. The one everyone calls for help
d. The one who with all the cool new gadgets
e. The one who never replies in group chats
2. Today I’m craving…
d. Something I’ve never tried before
3. What is your favourite sport?
a. Synchronised swimming
c. Ice skating
d. Unicycle hockey
e. Mixed martial arts
4. Your server at a restaurant starts flirting with your other half RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. What do you do?
a. Out-flirt them, cloaking your S.O. in a cloud of affectionate teasing
b. Loudly address your S.O. as “honey” and “dear”
c. Complain on the restaurant’s Facebook page
d. Flip the table and storm out without ordering
e. Tell them that you want a word outside
5. Which rom-com trope is your favourite?
a. Office rivals fall in love after being forced to work together
b. Two people make their exes jealous by pretending to date, only to fall in love for real
c. Childhood besties realise they were in love all along
d. Forced cohabitation, hijinks and romance ensue
e. Couple who had disastrous Tinder date meet again, sparks fly amidst the awkwardness
6. Where is your favourite place to sit in the office?
a. The pantry, so I can hang out, I mean do work, with all my friends
b. My office, where I can have privacy
c. Anywhere near the fridge
d. Next to the smart people, so I can absorb their intelligence by osmosis
e. In the toilet, where I can cry
7. Which career would you be best at?
a. Professional matchmaker
c. Door-to-door salesperson
e. Investigative reporter
8. Pick a super-powered being/group:
a. Power Rangers
b. Optimus Prime
c. The Flash
d. Iron Man
9. Which slogan speaks to you?
a. “We bring good things to life”
b. “Just do it”
c. “Gotta catch ‘em all!”
d. “Think outside the bun”
e. “Live in your world. Play in ours”
If you chose mostly (A), you are: Synergy
Flying solo ain’t for you. Collaboration, cooperation, teamwork – these words make your heart sing, much to the chagrin of colleagues who would rather be left alone in their caves.
If you chose mostly (B), you are: Own this space
You are a force of nature. Ambitious, intimidating, and just a little possessive, you’ll accept nothing less than being Number One.
If you chose mostly (C), you are: Low-hanging fruit
You believe that to every problem, there is an obvious soution. Sure, your shortcuts sometimes lead to more problems down the road, but when people need a quick win or a lost-minute lobang, you’re their guy.
If you chose mostly (D), you are: Disruptor
As someone who gets tired of doing the same things over and over again, you’re always buying, trying, and inventing new stuff. Some people would say that you’re addicted to novelty, or that you’re a bit of a show-off, but at least you’re never boring.
If you chose mostly (E), you are: Let’s take this offline
Everybody knows that saying "let's take this offline" is the equivalent to removing your earrings before a fight. While you might hold a few more grudges and secrets than is probably healthy, you're more of the type to call people out privately rather than publically.