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Celebrate l’amour by getting arty – or aggressive. Hey, we won’t judge. PHOTOS: INSTAGRAM/@SPLATPAINTHOUSE AND @THEFRAGMENTROOM

Very Singaporean Ways To Spice Up Your Valentine's Day

Finally, something other than COVID-19 droplets is in the air. We are talking about love, of course, and some also say bouquet pollen.

Right after Chinese New Year comes Valentine’s Day, fast and furious.

But too bad, this year, you can’t impress your BB with a surprise SQ Suites ticket to New York and there’s really no point in buying him $888 designer shoes since he’s been working barefoot from home anyway. And he’s allergic to bouquets, seafood buffets and latex boots (yes, he really is damn mafan).

So, here’s how else you can still make your Valentine’s Day more ooh-la-la than oh-so-sian-lah.

Have him hold you tight on the Creepy Tales of Singapore tour

Because either he’s going to be spooked on this unnatural “fun, chilling and education tour that’s not for the faint of heart” or his legs are going to be really wobbly after this unnaturally long four-hour Creepy Tales of Singapore expedition that starts at the ghostly (aka private hire car surge) hour of 7.30pm.

You will be chauffeured around from site to site though – prepare to snoop around a few creepy locations in Singapore including a suicide-centric bridge on a remote hill and a Chinese cemetery. Don’t worry, candles and torchlights are provided on the tour.

Be a voyeur in Singapore in the dark at night

Sorry, that was a real clickbait kind of header. If you prefer looking for natural creatures instead of supernatural ones, skip the Creepy Tales of Singapore suggestion and sign up for The Untamed Paths’ nocturnal walks instead. For about two hours, an experienced guide will show you the hidden side of Singapore. Cue water snakes in mangroves and luminous scorpions. And if she will gallantly dab Mopiko on your muddy legs, you will know that she’s the one.

Make your ovaries explode over the cutest baby in Singapore

No, it’s not your colleague’s farty six-month-old or your 24th nephew. It’s Singapore’s first official baby panda, Le Le whom you can go aww over at the Giant Panda Forest at Mandai River Wonders! Time your visit to coincide with his nursery appearances at about 10.30am and 3.30pm every day. Then tell us why only pandas can look this cute with dark eye rings and we can’t.

If you want to show you are dulan but still act classy about it

Some days, you want to say “I loathe you” more than “I love you” to your BB. The 2022 way to release your inner angst (and ah long) is to throw paint liberally onto walls and tables and even at each other at Splat Paint House. You will gear up in waterproof disposable raincoats first, of course. Then make a mess with the paints provided and unlike the mess that your other half likes to create at home (think week-old socks left on the kitchen floor or emptied boxes of cookies left in the fridge), you can take your masterpiece home later and even try to sell it as abstract art on Carousell.

And if you still feel dulan about what your BB did 652 days ago…

Yeah, some of us like to harbour long-time grudges, can (like how could he side with his mother and not you!)? And the only way you should show your rage is in a designated rage room like The Fragment Room. It’s a safe space for those of us who want to smash plates, glasses, vases and even (old) electronic appliances without hearing our mothers scream “eh, why you break my antique bonsai pot!”

See how clever your other half is by solving a murder in Chinatown

Don’t worry, this activity won’t kill off your relationship because it’s not a real murder. Instead, “Niu Che Shui Murders” is an outdoor game – similar to those claustrophobic escape room types – where groups of two to five aspiring (and perspiring) sleuths solve puzzles to nail a serial killer on the loose in Chinatown. And after you have done your job, refuel with famous eats in the area like Ma Li Ya Virgin Chicken, Tong Heng egg tarts and Yong Xiang Xing Dou Fu yong tau foo.

Have a very fancy dinner surrounded by orchids

If you are on a budget, you can go to Gardens by the Bay. But if you have become indecently wealthy from selling NFTs of photos of your dirty toenails, go for the Love in Full Bloom at Diner de Fleurs at the Shangri-La, only available on Feb 14.

What that cheem name means: you will feast on a six-course dinner including escargots, Boston lobster and beef striploin wagyu A4. These will be served by a private butler within the gardens of The Orchid, a seven-metre-tall open-air orchid greenhouse sculpture. Good food and orchids – how much more Singaporean can you get?

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