6 Ways Guys Can Increase Their Chances Of Getting A Second Date
STORY: Mandy Wong
19 February 2019
With the advent of dating apps, going on ‘first dates’ with someone you’ve never met before in your life has become an increasingly common phenomenon – and conundrum.
It’s not enough to just make a decently good first impression. If you’re in it to win it, you need to score enough points to land that second date. For our burgeoning relationship hopefuls, here are 6 tips to get you to the next step.
1. Don’t forget your manners – to anyone
Naturally, you would be on your best behaviour with your date, but the way you behave to everyone else around you, like the service staff you encounter, or even just fellow shoppers in the mall, will give her an idea of your real personality.
We can all agree that having manners and being polite makes one look more attractive than being an entitled and rude customer in front of your date.
2. Know how to have a two-way conversation
There is nothing more of a turn-off than a date who can’t and won’t shut up about himself.
Sure, we all like to talk about ourselves, our opinions, our histories, and so on. This applies to you, but also applies to your date.
This behaviour isn’t all bad – it helps you open up about yourself and enables your date to get to know you better as a person. But if you feel like you’ve been leaving every first date having spilled your entire history and without having learnt much about your date, it’s time to re-evaluate your arsenal of conversational topics.
3. Look presentable
We don’t mean that you need to dress like it’s your wedding every time you go on a first date. Rather, dress for the occasion. If you’re going to a chill spot for lunch or coffee, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with going casual.
But beware: casual does not equate to sloppy. If you’re dressing the way you do when you pop down to the nearest roti prata stall for supper, it’s not going to impress anyone. While most girls wouldn’t expect you to dress to the nines, showing that you have put in some effort into your presentation would at least make her feel like you care about the impression it gives her.
4. Don’t drag the date on longer than necessary
There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a date that drags on interminably. Contrary to what you may think, longer is not better.
It all depends on the conversation you have going on. Once it seems like the conversational hype has passed (and that will naturally happen to any conversation at some point), take the initiative to diplomatically call it a day.
Ending the date on a high note also makes your partner feel more inclined to agree to a next one, especially if she feels like the both of you still have a lot more to talk about.
5. Ask before offering to pay
We know that offering to pick up the tab has historically been a thing for men to do in any date, but times are a-changin’. Contrary to popular belief, not all girls are happy for the guys to pay for the meal – some may even get offended when their dates assume this to be the natural order of things.
As with everything, simply ask your partner’s preferences rather than immediately assuming the stereotype.
6. Give it a bit of time before asking for seconds
You may be super excited at how well the first date went and are just raring to ask her on a second – but hold your horses! Give the both of you some space and time to cool off and process your impressions of each other.
Furthermore, asking her out again too soon may signal overwhelming enthusiasm, which may also be a bit of a turn-off.
How long should you wait? It depends on how quickly both of you reply to each other’s texts before this, but a good time frame would be between 24 to 48 hours after the first date.